Official Maafi-Nama to Simran Ji

Maafi Laayak to Nahi Mai,

Par Koshish Jaari Rahegi :')

I wish there existed a time machine which allowed me to travel back in time and undo all the mistakes I have made in the past. All the hurtful things I have said to you, all the times I have let my emotions get the better of me. All those very times that I have allowed my hands to type something that hurts you inside out. Believe me, oh precious love of mine, I am still the person who used to panic on even the thought of tears rolling down your beautiful round chubby cheeks, I still cannot remain calm when I know you are hurting.

After a lot of introspection, I have now come to understand and realize how awfully dismissive of your concerns and feelings I have been in the recent arguments. I admit I start defending my actions instead of admitting my faults and mistakes. I allowed my pride to overshadow my love for you. I didn't mean any of the hurtful words and insults that I have hurled towards you in times of arguments. You mean the entire fucking world to me, my motu.

You showed me your vulnerable side, that cute little child within you that came to life because of our Love. The child that used to light up while talking to me, that used to shake its head out of excitement, joy and love after kissing me through the selfie camera. I have let that child hide away again in a corner of your heart because of my actions and hurtful words. I will reclaim that chotu Simran. I will hug that baby and protect it within my embrace with all my strength. I do not believe there is anything that I would hold more dear to me.

Na jaane kaise keh diya maine woh lafz,
Jo tere dil ko chubh gaye,
Mujhe khud se nafrat hone lagi hai ab,
Tujhe rula ke jee gaya main kis tarah?

Knowing that my words have hurt you, it crushes me inside. You, with that beautiful smile, those dimples that light up my world... I turned that joy into sadness. And the worst part? You didn’t ask for revenge. You didn’t ask for space. You only asked for my effort—to listen, to grow, to understand.

And I failed. Repeatedly.

But not anymore.

I want you to know, I’ve realized how immature I’ve been with my words. How quick I’ve been to defend myself instead of understanding you. And how slow I’ve been to notice that behind your rudeness was the pain I caused.

I’m not writing this just to say “sorry” again. That word has started to feel too small.

I’m writing to promise you this:

I will change—not for the sake of keeping you, but because you showed me what real love looks like. The kind that stays. That nurtures. That forgives.

From today, I’m committed to becoming better—for you, for us, for the love that still lives between us despite the damage I caused.

I don’t want to just say, "I love you."

I want to live that love through actions. Through patience. Through gentler words. Through understanding your emotions better.

Through protecting your heart, not bruising it.

You stayed when I didn’t deserve it.

And that has changed everything in me.

I promise, Simran, I will never let my words be the reason behind your tears again.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

Mujhe teri hansi chahiye,

tere aansu nahi,

Tujhse mohabbat hai,

bas ye sabit karne ki der hai.

I know it will take time.

I know words aren’t enough anymore.

But I’m willing to put in the time.

To earn back your peace.

To rebuild your trust.

To bring back that soft light in your eyes when you look at me.

You’re my once-in-a-lifetime, Simran.

I love you—truly, deeply, and now, more responsibly.

Forever yours,

~ Sumit