One Last Chance to Love You Right

Simran,
From the moment you came into my life, something inside me shifted. I didn’t realize it at first, but you were quietly fixing something broken in me. You didn’t do it with big gestures or speeches; you did it simply by being you. Your laughter, your positive energy, your warm smile that could turn the heaviest day into something light, it all started to heal wounds I thought would never close.

You became my safe place. You gave me joy I didn’t think I deserved. You gave me a love so pure that I found myself wondering how I got lucky enough to have you. And all you ever asked in return was honesty, respect, and care.

But I failed you.
I broke your trust.
I chipped away at the happiness you once felt with me.

Instead of protecting your heart like I promised myself I would, I let my frustration take the lead in moments of anger.

I disrespected you in arguments when I should have been lifting you up.

I am ashamed to even talk about the insults that I have hurled at you. Any sane person would be able to tell how shameful those sentences have been. I have been blind in thinking I just said it in anger and that it should be easy for you to let go of the words I have spoken with just a mere sorry. Saying that it was all said in the heat of the moment is so wrong. I realize it now. There is no possible justification for the things I have said.

I pushed you away emotionally when all you needed was my arms around you.

And when you distanced yourself, instead of seeing the pain I caused, I saw it as something to be frustrated about, as if you were wrong for needing space from the very person who hurt you.

That’s not love.
That’s selfishness.

You have shown me more patience than I deserve. You’ve forgiven me when I didn’t even know how to forgive myself.

But too many times, I’ve failed to make it right. Too many times, I’ve let my pride keep me from giving you the sincere apology you deserved in the moment.

Simran, you are the light in my life.

Without you, everything feels dull and heavy.

These past couple of weeks without you have made me realize how I could never be complete without my Sim 2. Your absence turns me into something very bizarre. You are all my happiness. 

I don’t just miss your presence. I miss the peace and happiness that only you can bring. You are my home, my joy, my angel with dimples that still makes my heart skip. And knowing I was the one who dimmed your smile, it’s a pain I can’t explain.

I don’t want to be the man who hurts you anymore. I want to be the man who makes you feel safe, who listens without defense, who loves without ego. I want to rebuild the trust I shattered, even if it takes the rest of my life.

I’m not asking for this last chance because I can’t live without you; though that’s true.

I’m asking because I know we have something rare, something real, something worth every ounce of effort I have in me. And I am ready to give you that effort, every single day.

Please, Simran… trust me with your heart one more time.
Let me spend the rest of my days proving that I will never let it break again.

Yours, always,
~Sumit